Commitment

Commitment: The scary thing about committing is that you are officially on the hook. The scary thing about being on the hook is that you might be taken to task for not seeing it through. And if you fail, not only do you let others down, but you let yourself down, and that doesn't feel good.

But commitment is also confidence, it's a way of publicly stating your intentions. It's a powerful statement that "yes, I can" is in action. And the funny thing is, even when you trip up and make mistakes, people usually respect those who have whole heartedly committed themselves to something (an ideal, a job, a process etc), and rather than hanging you out to dry, they tend to give you a second chance. The question then is how do we want to perceive ourselves (therefore have others perceive us)? Whether we commit a "take to tape" at a recording session or commit to a relationship, I think the answer is obvious.

this week in 52 in 52:

The Hand That Pushed:

to stream, go to: https://soundcloud.com/nickbullock/the-hand-that-pushed

52 in 52: fifty two songs in fifty two weeks: its a start...

Every now and again you get a great idea, that seems far fetched. Some would even deem it crazy. "That sounds nuts", "Why would you ever do that". The best ideas usually are tied hand in hand with those kind of sentiments. The worst is when they not only come from the outside in, but the combo punch of coming from within too.

Self doubt, man its a bitch.

We all have it (i think).

What do you do with it (i'm really asking)?

I used to just pretend like it didn't exist, but I realized in ignoring it, I was somehow just extending its grasp on me. Lately, I'm in the habit of really just letting it be, almost honoring it in a way. Meaning, as soon as I recognize it for what it is (which I'm proud to say, doesn't take me too long anymore… practice makes perfect), as soon as I name it for what it is, I acknowledge it, and then i'm able to actually let it go. My inner monologue literally goes something like this "I feel scared because of ___" … then I say "ok"… and then, almost always, its gone. And i'm back to making decisions based on truth and not fear, based on what I want, not what I doubt I can have.

About a year ago I had the idea to start a recording project, i dubbed it 52 in 52. My band and I will be releasing fifty two songs in fifty two weeks… one song per week for a whole year.

As soon as this crazy idea birthed itself in my head, my logical brain had sooooooo many things to say to the rest of my brain… again, the voice in my head: "what if you can't do it", "what if you release a shitty song", "you only get one chance at a first impression", "its going to be sooooo hard" - that one has a very whiney monolog voice attached to it - "what if i fail", "how am i supposed to write, record, mix and master all that", "screw that!!!" … and on and on.

But you know what, I really value growth above most other things in my life. And the best way I know how to grow, is to do, and do again, and again, and again. At the end of the day, the thing that excites me most, excites me louder than any voice in my head, or voice of doubt in the world, is the chance to learn from each and every song I write and record. I'm sure there will be some songs that I write that are better than others, and I'm sure that my band and I will achieve greater sonic bliss on some songs while tracking and producing each song, but you know what, each time, i'll be getting better at it. We'll be getting better at it.

So if you're at all interested in checking up on the progress, there will be several ways you can. Weekly social media blasts, and email list and the like.

At the end of the year,we will have people (like you!) vote on their favorite 10 songs, and release a very special album, curated by you.

Certainly expect some videos in the works too, again, picked by you the people.

So there it is, my crazy ass idea, but what the hell, you only live once, why not challenge yourself. Go big or go home, right?

Here's the link for week 1: https://soundcloud.com/nickbullock/lonely

happy new year

xo

Bob Marley, Redemption and Me

I'm not really a fan of Reggae, as I'm sure my old friends (and old band mates especially) can attest to, especially living in such a small hippie town for so long before moving here to Nashville. It often seemed like it was everywhere in little ol Ithaca NY. It's not that it isn't good, there is some great stuff out there, especially some of the older recordings, but in general, I always felt distant from it. Maybe I was just over saturated with it at one point and got jaded. But once upon a time, when I first stared to play the guitar, I learned Bob Marley's Redemption Song. The intro lick was easy, but for the beginner still posed a little bit of a challenge, and the chords were all nice and simple. It was, and still is a great camp fire song. And truth be told, I had heard Dave Matthews perform it, so it was obvisouly cool (does Dave Matthews count as a guilty pleasure now?). This was when I was young, impressionable, and susceptible to the hippie jam band culture, and I inhaled it all whole for a long while. Only to reject my younger musical ways as I got older and grew into my own skin.

Which brings me to last night, as I'm driving my car home and listening to the radio. When the song starts to play and I hear that opening guitar lick, my immediate instinct is to switch the station, and my hand reached out to do so. But for some reason I stopped, hand hanging in the air, half way to the radio dial. I started to listen, really listen again. And the words cut through all the bullshit in my mind. I was reminded again of what I knew at such a young age, the lyrics are genius, and even more so moving. Not because they are clever, or hip, but because they are honest, and go way beyond the initial meaning. And I'm not going ot really get into what that initial meaning is, or pretend to understand the mind and soul of another man and his intentions for writing a song, but I will say that the lyrics are undeniably universal. And I was reminded that maybe some things from my past are worth rediscovering, and that I should suspend my auto-discard impulse response. Who knows, maybe I'll dust off the old patch work pants... probably not.

What stories from "yesterday" can teach you something new "today"? What songs have new meaning to you in your life today?

photo taken off the internet, not from me :)

"Trust Me"

"Trust me". It seems like there are a million different ways we communicate that short little phrase. I've been reading a lot of books lately on growth, trust, business, and the world we live in. Trust seems to be a topic that keeps bubbling up each and every time I turn a page, in one way or another. At first, I thought that it was a no brainer... you know, don't tell a lie, etc. But the more I think about it (and I say think, not thought, because it's still very much an on going process), the more I realize it is a lot more complex. Do you trust what people say when they give you their opinions, do you trust the internet, and social networks, or the people on them? Do you trust the quality and character of our leaders (churches, schools,  corporations, institutions, universities and so on), do you trust what they say? Do you trust the advertisements that we see on television, or read in magazines? I could go on and on and on. It seems like we have needed to cultivate this ability to make snap shot judgments on who and what to trust just so we can wade through the waters of every day life.

I think this is why people guard their trust so much today, or why some people say we live in a "low trust world" now more than ever. Which I understand, but I also think it's very sad.

As an independent musician/artist, studio owner, entrepreneur and business owner, I have boiled it down for myself to a few basic ideas. First and maybe foremost, I always do what I say I will do (the old integrity principle, which I happen to believe in very much). Show up on time (related to the first, and I'm still very much working on this one!!!), have a firm handshake, and look people in the eye. I'm a simpleton, so these all seem to make sense for me. There is also something to being a good listener, and listening with out an agenda that I find very important.

These are also things that are actually in my power to control, which is nice. I'm not helpless.

When some one trusts me with their song/production/mix or whatever, its my job to care as much as I would if it were my own piece of art. Sometimes that can be a challenge, but usually not, and it is always rewarding. Again, its something that is in my control, and helps facilitate trust, so it builds and builds, and relationships are born. Good ones, where the two parties don't have to make snap shot judgements towards each other, they can just let the relationship grow, and be.

Like I said earlier, this is still very much a process that I am learning and thinking about, so these are just my thoughts today.

How do you feel about the state of "trust" in todays world? What do you do to facilitate trust in your every day life?

A picture of trust...

Friends Who Write Songs Together Stay Together

This past week has been a fun one. Some dear friends of ours, on their way here to visit us from upstate NY last Thursday, had some rather bad auto-mechanical failures. In other words, they need a new transmission AND clutch, and it was on a truck that they had just purchased three days before, and they drove all the way from NY to Colorado to pick it up. So, basically a cataclysmic failure of a trip. But they took it in great stride, and despite the unexpected, but considerable dent in the wallet, I have been amazed at how calm, collected, and positive attitude-ish they have been. And we have made the most of their time here. We've eaten at some great Nashville restaurants, we've gone out to bars, cooked meals, watched movies, dealt with a clogged kitchen sink, and played cards. And two days ago, after reading a passage from the book "Thinker-toys", we decided to write a song together about the experience. Maybe you've heard of the "Exquisite Corpse" before? In the book, this particular exercise outlines a set of instructions that focuses on group thinking, and cohesion. I won't go into the exact details (you should read the book... very good), but the basic idea is you take random words that each person associates with the given topic without over thinking, and you then have a brainstorm session, and for our purposes, write down together any phrases that come to mind once everyone has shared their words. Essentially taking two different and seemingly random words, and connecting them. Some of the repeating ideas or words were: clogged sink, Nashville, train tracks (they back up to the studio), broken down trucks, garbage disposals... you get the idea. Later we went in the studio to turn these phrases, ideas, and lyrics into the realized song.

The whole process was totally different compared to how I normally work. It was also with people who are dear friends, but people I have never had that kind of working relationship with before.

I am constantly and pleasantly surprised at the genius that can happen when people are excited working in the  cooperation zone together. There seems to be a new level of awareness that becomes apparent when people are in to making it happen. It takes honesty, and a commitment to listening and understanding before speaking.

I can't wait to take this same spirit and energy to the production/engineering sessions I have coming up, and my first co-writing sessions too.

What is your process for writing? What tips or techniques do you find inspirational or empowering?

Eric wearing the magical Wizard Hat...

Kim rocking the Tele...

Meredith was the one taking the pictures...