Obedience and Belief

Belief and Obedience: Obedience = Bad taste in mouth

Right?

But i want to be careful of how I treat words, and take notice of the fact that sometimes there is more than one meaning. It is up to me to decide which definition suits me best…  Because obedience can be a form of discipline that can expand our horizons. Obedience is only given when there is a great deal of respect, and when you decide to give your obedience to something or someone (as a free thinking adult), that decision can have a lasting positive impact. Every time a monk obeys their guru, every time a husband obeys his wife, or every time a musician obeys their instrument, it is a statement that says I trust in something bigger than myself, and I give myself over to it. And the freedom that follows that kind acceptance can be a wellspring of joy.

Belief: It is the number one most important thing that all success stories share. It is the difference maker. Believe.

This weeks #52in52:

Secrets vs Love:

stream at: https://soundcloud.com/nickbullock/secrets-vs-love

Experience, learn, always laugh, sometimes cry, repeat.

Experience, learn, always laugh, sometimes cry, repeat.

Some people love to say how difficult their chosen "career" can be. They complain. Sometimes it comes in the form of a joke, sometimes their words and actions straight up drip with venom, and sometimes its a subtle comment of desperation and frustration.

It's usually easy to imagine, feel, honor, glorify and visualize our next grand accomplishment in the career of our dreams. But that's not all there is to it. What does it mean to follow your career path? It means if it's true, it will be hard. If its TRUTH, it will be the hardest. Follow your instinct, follow your gut, follow your dreams and they are guaranteed to lead to hard times. But if they are really your truth, you don't have a choice anyways. So, if we choose to go the hard way and follow our truth, then we do it intentionally with the knowledge that we are not going to have a breezy stroll down career street. We can, however, learn to discipline our minds and hearts over time. We can learn how to honor our feelings of self doubt and frustration, but not live in them. We can start to take command of our subconscious. And slowly over time, we get really good at what other people might call having a thick skin, or "no worries". Its really just the ability to deal with in a healthy manner, all the negative bullshit that surrounds following your truth.

So, experience, learn, always laugh, sometimes cry and repeat.

ps: for week 6 of 52 in 52 go to https://soundcloud.com/nickbullock/grand-design

52 in 52: fifty two songs in fifty two weeks: its a start...

Every now and again you get a great idea, that seems far fetched. Some would even deem it crazy. "That sounds nuts", "Why would you ever do that". The best ideas usually are tied hand in hand with those kind of sentiments. The worst is when they not only come from the outside in, but the combo punch of coming from within too.

Self doubt, man its a bitch.

We all have it (i think).

What do you do with it (i'm really asking)?

I used to just pretend like it didn't exist, but I realized in ignoring it, I was somehow just extending its grasp on me. Lately, I'm in the habit of really just letting it be, almost honoring it in a way. Meaning, as soon as I recognize it for what it is (which I'm proud to say, doesn't take me too long anymore… practice makes perfect), as soon as I name it for what it is, I acknowledge it, and then i'm able to actually let it go. My inner monologue literally goes something like this "I feel scared because of ___" … then I say "ok"… and then, almost always, its gone. And i'm back to making decisions based on truth and not fear, based on what I want, not what I doubt I can have.

About a year ago I had the idea to start a recording project, i dubbed it 52 in 52. My band and I will be releasing fifty two songs in fifty two weeks… one song per week for a whole year.

As soon as this crazy idea birthed itself in my head, my logical brain had sooooooo many things to say to the rest of my brain… again, the voice in my head: "what if you can't do it", "what if you release a shitty song", "you only get one chance at a first impression", "its going to be sooooo hard" - that one has a very whiney monolog voice attached to it - "what if i fail", "how am i supposed to write, record, mix and master all that", "screw that!!!" … and on and on.

But you know what, I really value growth above most other things in my life. And the best way I know how to grow, is to do, and do again, and again, and again. At the end of the day, the thing that excites me most, excites me louder than any voice in my head, or voice of doubt in the world, is the chance to learn from each and every song I write and record. I'm sure there will be some songs that I write that are better than others, and I'm sure that my band and I will achieve greater sonic bliss on some songs while tracking and producing each song, but you know what, each time, i'll be getting better at it. We'll be getting better at it.

So if you're at all interested in checking up on the progress, there will be several ways you can. Weekly social media blasts, and email list and the like.

At the end of the year,we will have people (like you!) vote on their favorite 10 songs, and release a very special album, curated by you.

Certainly expect some videos in the works too, again, picked by you the people.

So there it is, my crazy ass idea, but what the hell, you only live once, why not challenge yourself. Go big or go home, right?

Here's the link for week 1: https://soundcloud.com/nickbullock/lonely

happy new year

xo

The Listener is...

A wild beast, unpredictable, untethered, and roaming the desert constantly changing its habits, making it almost impossible to track or chase. So what do we musicians, artists, players and writers do? Do we follow the trail, hire a tracker, load our packs with fifty pounds of shame and frustration and set out to capture their attention? No. Well, yes, and no.

We let them come to us, by being ourselves.

Yes, we do practice to get better, yes we are listening to the times pass with our ears to the ground, keeping track of culture's momentum. Yes, we want to know what the thirteen year olds are digging on. Yes, we want to know what is happening in the clubs of NYC, on the front porches of Nashville, and in the back yard parties of LA. I say it IS good for us to know who headlines what EDM festival, and what the top college radio stations are playing. Its always good to keep your eyes open when you're in the wild desert homeland of the listener. So listen good, take notes, copy stuff, learn from everything, learn it all. Then forget it all, and let your voice come through.

Thats the only way you are going to lasso the listening public. Thats how you'll build a fan base. No matter what you do, if its really you, its really true, then the wild listener will find you.

From freak flags to sweet melodies... the right people are out there, your tribe awaits. Follow your own road.

Fame vs Great

I'm on vacation. I'm staring at wave after wave crashing onto the sandy beach. I'm a lucky guy to be able to witness the millions of little happenings, lets call them experiments, that have over a long period of time brought about this particular sandy beach, ocean tide and sun shine into one masterful experience. I wasn't going to write a blog this week, but then I started reading The Rise by Sarah Lewis. I love vacations for lots of reasons, but at the top of my list, it allows me to kick back and enjoy catching up on reading and writing. Last time I had a couple of days of vacation I gave myself a challenge to finish three songs by the end of my four days off, this time, I'm being a little more relaxed about it all, not searching for perfection, but enjoying the process, and trusting it.

The Rise, at least so far, seems to be about the gifts that mistakes can bring to an artist or creative person as they develop. How mistakes, one by one, get us closer to achieving our goals as creatives. And that without them, we are worse off. Maybe a better way of saying that is it's not about the destination, it's about the journey (that old cliche!). I, as some may know, am not always a patient person when it comes to my career/creativity/destination vs journey... I'm not always patient with my own course of development.

We as creative American citizens/artists/entrepreneurs can and should be pushing every envelope we are given. We should be striving for excellence, and fumbling on the way. We should not expect the world to stop for our genius, we should instead seek to never stop ourselves from striving to discover our own genius. It is not about fame or money, it is about mastery. Perfection is a concept that is unachievable, and mastery is a noun, that brings forth memories of actions taken. Mastery is born from the ability to make mistakes and learn from them, again and again and again. I'm reminded of The Gap, an idea that was first brought to my attention by Ira Glass (http://vimeo.com/85040589). The Gap is the space between our current abilities and what we see our true selves being capable of, to put it simply.

I never knew that Michelangelo was famous for leaving works unfinished. But it makes sense. If completion is the objective then what is an artist to do once the job is done, cease being an artist? I know that with every song that I have written and recorded I am only giving it up to be released or to be put down on tape because I am ready to say goodbye and walk away from an imperfect and incomplete idea or concept. No song is ever finished really. I could and sometimes do drive myself crazy with nitpicking my work to death. Sometimes, more often than not, I am needing to move on, so the song is "done". This is how I track my idea of mastery, this is how I grow. And really, my ultimate goal is not to write a hit song, or produce a hit record, it is to be a master of my craft, a master of my tools. That is what really turns me on, and what gets me going.

And when I'm able to remember that I really do what I do (write, play, and produce music) because I love the inevitable discovery process that comes with wanting to master such crafts, I am able to take a deep breath, trust the process, enjoy the waves, breath, enjoy my book, and look forward with excitement to the good work that I am going to continue when I get back in my studio.

When I moved to Nashville, it wasn't so I could be a star, I moved there because that was where the biggest musical masters were from. So yes by all means, follow your dreams, start a business, start a band, paint a picture, try out for The Voice, move to NYC or Nashville, be an athlete. But do so for the love of the work, not to seek fortune and fame. Those things are fleeting. Do the world a favor, and seek to be a master. That is where greatness truly lies. That is what inspires people to change their lives and the lives of others for the better. The world needs more masters, maybe now more than ever.

Touring: Experimental Existentialism and Shut Up and Play

Have you ever toured before or wanted to hit the road in a van, with your best buds, playing your music? Who wouldn't want to, right? A few weeks ago, my band went on a ten day tour, starting down south and eventually ending up north to play a festival set near my old stomping grounds of Ithaca NY. All in all, playing eight shows along the way. I thought I would share some thoughts on my experience, both anecdotal and practical. First, a brief background for those of you who don't know where I'm coming from. I spent the majority of my 20's, in a van touring with my best friends.

We lived together, worked together, partied together, did chores together, wrote together, and recorded together. We were, in some ways, living the dream. One day at a time, we were figuring out how to be professional musicians in a professionally touring band, playing original music. We hit the jam band circuit hard for years, playing well over 150 shows a year for the majority of our time together. That is a lot of days on the road, I don't care who you are. We sacrificed much of our personal lives for the greater good of the band, and for our shared vision of what we wanted out of life. I'm very proud of those days, and I don't regret a single moment. Being in that band taught me many many things.

But, like all things, everything comes to an end eventually. When we split up, we all went our different ways, and I, out of my creative restlessness started a new band called The Sound Awake a few years ago. In the time that has passed since my "touring as a living" days, I have gotten married, started a business, sold that business, moved to Nashville, and started my studio, and a new musical/professional life here in music city.... so this tour that I mentioned above, was really like a dipping of the toe back in the warm waters of the touring lifestyle. More than anything, I was curious to see how I handled everything... so here we go.

The Existential Experiment:

Playing music you write to a room full of enthusiastic people is really one of the greatest feelings I've ever experienced in my life. It is an experience that I would encourage anyone who writes their own music to aim for. The good news is it's a reachable goal. I didn't realize how much I missed the camaraderie of being in a band, hitting the road, and doing it together. There is a bond that gets formed, regardless of personal differences, or personality traits or whatever... it's unavoidable. You get tighter as people (sometimes this means you see both sides of people's humanity, the good and the bad), and tighter as a band. There is definitely a thing called "tour tight"... its kind of unexplainable, but after so many shows on the road, you all just gel better musically. We weren't out there quite long enough to get deep into that tightness, but it was there, lurking, and I could feel it. I wanted to drink it in more, I wanted to let that feeling wash over me more. I got a taste, and it was sweet. Touring is also an amazing social experiment, and way more times than naught, you get reminded of people's innate goodness. The kindness of strangers is a wonderful thing to behold. It is so easy to believe that the human race is going to hell in a hand basket, but when you get out there, meet people face to face, give them a genuine smile, you would be surprised at how many genuine smiles you get in return. Maybe that speaks more for the power of music, than anything else, but the fact remains, there are a lot of kind people out there who will offer you a couch to sleep on, buy a CD to support your dreams, cheer you on,  buy you a beer, talk guitar tones, or lend you an amp if yours breaks. I could go on and on. Touring is also a great time to catch up with old friends that you don't get to see on the regular. It is truly one of the best things about being on the road. I would go through and name all my friends that I got to see and spend some quality time with this last time out, but there are too many to name. I miss them already. All in all, the tour was very successful. When we got up to upstate NY to play the Grass Roots Festival (which is attended by about 10k-15k people), we were in shape, and we brought our A game. Nothing compares to the roar of a crowd after a particular enthusiastic song or musical moment... and my end goal all along was to get that roar, and we did, more than once. I can't tell you exactly what it feels like to be the target of a crowds raging storm of energy, but it feels so good. Its a drug, and I want more of it.

I don't know what it would be like to do 150 dates a year again, and quite honetly, where I am in life, I would have to get paid way more than we did on this tour to consider doing it. I missed my wife, I missed sleeping in my bed. I didn't enjoy sleeping on couches quite as much as I used to remember. And I like my AC (sorry, it's true...). Touring is hard work. You drive all day, hurrying along the freeway, watching the mile markers count down, only to get to the venue to see there is no sound guy, or the bathroom doesn't have a door on it, or the PA that the venue said they have doesn't actually exist... or all of the above. If you are going to put yourself out there night in and night out, the one thing I would say, is that the music has to be the life blood, it has to be the source and the purpose, it has to be the thing that gets you off the most. And you have to believe in it, more than you believe in anything else, at least for the moment. So, if you're still into it, here are some very practical thoughts I can share with you on the my experience.

Shut up and Play: I'll keep this pretty straight forward.

Start booking the tour at least four months in advance. If you're booking yourself, it takes more time than usual to get all the ducks in a row, line up the routing properly, and make as much of a promotional splash in the market as you can before the concert date.

It's up to you to get people through the door, and once they are there, to keep them there. I don't buy that it is only the clubs or promoters responsibility for the success of the show. We, as artists, are in charge of our carriers, not the venue. That being said, usually when venues see that you are working hard to promote a show, they will get on board and pick up the slack on their end too. A win win is what we are all aiming for, after all.

Advance the show! At least once, if not twice. Go over all the details with the talent buyer at least a month before the show. This can clear up any little hang ups, and make sure that communication is clean and obvious. This will ensure that you have little to no headaches on the road, it will help you rest easier knowing that all the t's and i's are crossed and dotted. Ultimately allowing you to concentrate on the music and relationships that can form while on the road.

The music comes first. Don't drink too much, serisouly. Don't overdue the excesses, because it will be easy to. When I was on the road this last time, I started smoking again (why oh why! after months of successfully quitting)... why? because I'm human, and thought I could handle the temptation. Beware, is all I have to say. Have a good time, but music first, and music last. (I am now more than a week quit again, thank you very much... get back on that horse!)

Appreciate your band mates, you are all in it together. You are a team. If someone is in a bad mood, it doesn't hurt to give them space. Don't take everything to heart, people are people, love them for who they are and where they are in their own personal journey. As long as everyone is treating the music with the respect it deserves (see above), all will be good.

Don't be afraid to warm up! In the van, in the green room, wherever. What ever you can do to make the show a better experience. Warm those pipes, warm those fingers, and don't be embarrassed about it.

You are there to provide entertainment. Read the room, it might not be a great time to take a set break after playing your second ballad in a row. You will get booked again if you keep people in the room, buying drinks. Unless your touring larger venues, and drawing hundreds of people, know that the one thing that will help you achieve your goals is to get rebooked, and get playing for more people next time. The people that were there had such a great time listening to you that they tell their friends, buy your merch, sign your mailing list and spread your gospel.

Have a mailing list. Have your merch table in a well lit and obvious place. Seems like a no brainer right? Bring a light, bring a cool table cloth or patchwork blanket to lay down... anything to make your products/merch look cooler, or more professional.

Know that nothing is perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect tour. Have a a does of thick skin, if the promoter or bartender is being a total jerk, walk away respectfully. If the show is poorly attended, play your ass off regardless. Touring has its limitations, enjoy it for what it is and know that doing your best is all you really can do at the end of the day.

A big thank you to Kevin and Russ, bass and drums extraordinaire, you guys are the rock to my rock n roll. Thanks for making the tour possible. #tsatour

What are some lessons you've learned from touring? What about touring most excites you? Share you thoughts, we would love to hear them! 

New vs Old, Why Jack White Is Wrong, Kind Of

Let me start by saying that I am indeed a (fairly big) fan of Jack White. I have seen him perform live, I own a bunch of his records, my favorite possibly being the first Raconteurs record. My love affair with Mr White goes back to the White Stripes. So when I saw that he and Conan O'Brien had a sit down, informal, chill/hang/interview, I stopped whatever I was doing and sat there on my couch with my laptop in complete attention to two of my favorite "celebrities" yucking it up, talking about music and life. Check it out. Jack White and Conan O'Brien

One of the topics that they carry on about, quite a bit, is about how digital music and technology has hindered       our experience, as a mass, and gotten us accustomed to auto tuned vocals, non-performances and the like. I am paraphrasing here quite a bit, but if you're interested, go to minute 24, through about 27, and listen for yourself.

I have conflicting feelings about this. I too love real performances. I love singing/playing guitar on a track that I know I can do well, or working with musicians that are amazing. I hate the idea that people can just go in, move some things around in an edit window, and come out with a brand new "performance". I love the accidental little mistakes that make a track sparkle with humanity and emotion. I love the sound of analog tape, and all its gooey warmth. That all being said, it is 100% impossible for me to pursue recording the same way Mr White does. Number one, I don't have tens of thousands in disposable income to spend on buying, and maintaining (by which I mean fixing) old analog equipment and tape machines. I did actually own an eight track tape/recording console (Tascam 388) before moving to Nashville, but I sold it before moving down here. I was a little afraid of what kind of damage would happen to it in the move, and truthfully I spent more time elbow deep in it trying to figure out why it wasn't working properly than I actually spent using it. Number two, I have to work hard and fast to make my income as a musician/producer. I don't have the luxury of taking all the time in the world to record in an all analog environment. Case in point, I have a band coming in today to knock out two songs in two hours. This is going to be hard enough to do without having to rewind tape every take, or punch in after the fact, or god forbid have to splice anything.

So, I love Jack White, and I would love to have Jack White produce me one day, and have him school me in analog mastery. I would learn a lot I'm sure. And I love the idea of performing all to tape, dumping to 2 track and mastering on the way, but it just isn't practical. Whenever I work in the role as producer/engineer, my first thought is to always serve the song and artists vision. The how of that comes second, and at the end of the day, I'm not sure the how matters much if you are being true to the artistic vision. I have heard it said, and believe art to be about conception, with execution coming second.

I would love to hear what my musician/engineer/producer friends think on this, as well as what the casual music lovers think too. So what do you think?

"Trust Me"

"Trust me". It seems like there are a million different ways we communicate that short little phrase. I've been reading a lot of books lately on growth, trust, business, and the world we live in. Trust seems to be a topic that keeps bubbling up each and every time I turn a page, in one way or another. At first, I thought that it was a no brainer... you know, don't tell a lie, etc. But the more I think about it (and I say think, not thought, because it's still very much an on going process), the more I realize it is a lot more complex. Do you trust what people say when they give you their opinions, do you trust the internet, and social networks, or the people on them? Do you trust the quality and character of our leaders (churches, schools,  corporations, institutions, universities and so on), do you trust what they say? Do you trust the advertisements that we see on television, or read in magazines? I could go on and on and on. It seems like we have needed to cultivate this ability to make snap shot judgments on who and what to trust just so we can wade through the waters of every day life.

I think this is why people guard their trust so much today, or why some people say we live in a "low trust world" now more than ever. Which I understand, but I also think it's very sad.

As an independent musician/artist, studio owner, entrepreneur and business owner, I have boiled it down for myself to a few basic ideas. First and maybe foremost, I always do what I say I will do (the old integrity principle, which I happen to believe in very much). Show up on time (related to the first, and I'm still very much working on this one!!!), have a firm handshake, and look people in the eye. I'm a simpleton, so these all seem to make sense for me. There is also something to being a good listener, and listening with out an agenda that I find very important.

These are also things that are actually in my power to control, which is nice. I'm not helpless.

When some one trusts me with their song/production/mix or whatever, its my job to care as much as I would if it were my own piece of art. Sometimes that can be a challenge, but usually not, and it is always rewarding. Again, its something that is in my control, and helps facilitate trust, so it builds and builds, and relationships are born. Good ones, where the two parties don't have to make snap shot judgements towards each other, they can just let the relationship grow, and be.

Like I said earlier, this is still very much a process that I am learning and thinking about, so these are just my thoughts today.

How do you feel about the state of "trust" in todays world? What do you do to facilitate trust in your every day life?

A picture of trust...